< War Story #5 and future ones I make after

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Coolking101

Prior Notification: Well boys, the few of you who have been keeping up on the war stories I make, this is where the rest will be. I am fearful that if I continue to make new threads each time they will be seen as pointless from the broader spectrum of the forums here, resulting in them being closed. To avoid that I felt that I should centralize all of them including feed back and comments to them in one thread. I hope you all understand. Also please note that I don't, repeat DO NOT make these stories for my own enjoyment. I type from the heart and that means that there is a valuable lesson to be taken from each one, a lesson that I hope gets reflected in some of you as gamers and bros. NOW LETS GET TO WAR STORY #5!!

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*Flares crackling in the sky*

Colonel Powell: Williams, give me a sit rep on your convoy!

Sergeant Major Isaac Williams: Colonel, our convoy has been taken out by heavy RPG fire and we are retreating down the ridge to the north of the Fallujah Ridge!

Captain Sobel: Williams if your uncle was really General Williams you've better call in close air like he did in Nam! We're getting pinned!

Williams: Eagle 1 this is Star 1, repeat Eagle 1 this is Star 1! We have 5 enemy mg nests dug in across our advance! We need close air now!


AC130 Pilot: Star 1 this is Eagle 1 thats a negative SAM sites are to close by and were bingo on fuel and flares.

Williams: God damnit Captain they can't do it! We're on our own...Captain? Captain!!....MEDIC!

Lieutenant Hawford: Hes dead leave him!

Williams: Colonel the Captain's been killed and were running low on ammo Sir!

Powell: Men, your Rangers! You are trained for these situations codebreakers are nearby. Radio Silence on all Frequencies and best of luck

Williams: Well shit now were cut off from air and command, were sitting damn ducks!

SPC Terrence (technician): I didnt come to Afghanistan to be sent home in a body bag!

Sniper Team Alpha: Good news boys theres a house about 12 yards east with two trucks, house is empty and we can support your flank!

Hawford: Thats the only chance we've got with 2 mags left, LETS GO SURPRESSING FIRE!

*All make it to trucks*

Williams: Do we have anymore beacons?

Hawford: Negative, we lost them in the convoy.

Williams: Then what if our air thinks we're enemies sir!

Hawford: This isn't the damn time for What if's Sergeant, bottom line you pray for the both of us in this 4-wheeled sardine can!

Terrence: According to the PDA we'll be out of SAM range in about 4 miles boys!

Hawford: Keep on the pedal Williams we're almost there!


*AC130 Pilot to Colonel Powell* Colonel, we've got a few trucks entering the safe zone, no beacons, should we open fire?

Powell: Are you positive its not our boys?

AC130 Pilot: Yes sir, no beacons.

Powell: Fire at will

Terrence: Shit AC130 is up there use a green flare so we have some sort of damn signal!

NORAD: Colonel those are friendlies, advise! Those are friendlies!

AC130 Gunman: Rounds out, confirmed kills sir!

Powell: Hold your fire!! Friendlies, say again hold your fire!

NORAD: Sir all vehicles are destroyed Predator shows atleast two dead at the moment, clearing imagery.

To be continued
 
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Console: Headset:
CoolKing, as a person who has written stories before, similar to this, I was wondering, how come you wrtoe it in a script form, and not a story form? I think if you used a story form, it would make this story, alot more effective, and perhaps, could even get you some publishers looking at this for a novel, its a great story dude, keep it up, I'd love to help if you want it!
 
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ReminderR

Prior Notification: Well boys, the few of you who have been keeping up on the war stories I make, this is where the rest will be. I am fearful that if I continue to make new threads each time they will be seen as pointless from the broader spectrum of the forums here, resulting in them being closed. To avoid that I felt that I should centralize all of them including feed back and comments to them in one thread. I hope you all understand. Also please note that I don't, repeat DO NOT make these stories for my own enjoyment. I type from the heart and that means that there is a valuable lesson to be taken from each one, a lesson that I hope gets reflected in some of you as gamers and bros. NOW LETS GET TO WAR STORY #5!!

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*Flares crackling in the sky*

Colonel Powell: Williams, give me a sit rep on your convoy!

Sergeant Major Isaac Williams: Colonel, our convoy has been taken out by heavy RPG fire and we are retreating down the ridge to the north of the Fallujah Ridge!

Captain Sobel: Williams if your uncle was really General Williams you've better call in close air like he did in Nam! We're getting pinned!

Williams: Eagle 1 this is Star 1, repeat Eagle 1 this is Star 1! We have 5 enemy mg nests dug in across our advance! We need close air now!


AC130 Pilot: Star 1 this is Eagle 1 thats a negative SAM sites are to close by and were bingo on fuel and flares.

Williams: God damnit Captain they can't do it! We're on our own...Captain? Captain!!....MEDIC!

Lieutenant Hawford: Hes dead leave him!

Williams: Colonel the Captain's been killed and were running low on ammo Sir!

Powell: Men, your Rangers! You are trained for these situations codebreakers are nearby. Radio Silence on all Frequencies and best of luck

Williams: Well shit now were cut off from air and command, were sitting damn ducks!

SPC Terrence (technician): I didnt come to Afghanistan to be sent home in a body bag!

Sniper Team Alpha: Good news boys theres a house about 12 yards east with two trucks, house is empty and we can support your flank!

Hawford: Thats the only chance we've got with 2 mags left, LETS GO SURPRESSING FIRE!

*All make it to trucks*

Williams: Do we have anymore beacons?

Hawford: Negative, we lost them in the convoy.

Williams: Then what if our air thinks we're enemies sir!

Hawford: This isn't the damn time for What if's Sergeant, bottom line you pray for the both of us in this 4-wheeled sardine can!

Terrence: According to the PDA we'll be out of SAM range in about 4 miles boys!

Hawford: Keep on the pedal Williams we're almost there!


*AC130 Pilot to Colonel Powell* Colonel, we've got a few trucks entering the safe zone, no beacons, should we open fire?

Powell: Are you positive its not our boys?

AC130 Pilot: Yes sir, no beacons.

Powell: Fire at will

Terrence: Shit AC130 is up there use a green flare so we have some sort of damn signal!

NORAD: Colonel those are friendlies, advise! Those are friendlies!

AC130 Gunman: Rounds out, confirmed kills sir!

Powell: Hold your fire!! Friendlies, say again hold your fire!

NORAD: Sir all vehicles are destroyed Predator shows atleast two dead at the moment, clearing imagery.

To be continued
your above nerd status