Your mother was a whore who left you in a ditch after doing cocaine. She had an abusive boyfriend and it was a miracle you managed to be born and breathing on your own. You are also very lucky that the poor family of 8 children managed to hear your cries and decided to take you in as one of their own. It is however, unfortunate that the father was an alcoholic and beat your siblings every night and you barely fell asleep in your mothers arms while she tried to comfort you and shield your ears from the bloody screams coming from the other room.
As you grew older the dad started to go after you. The belt markings on your back stung with every movement you made. After many years of this abuse, you realized you had had enough and went to an orphan shelter. There they taught you how to advertise in the lowest form known to man - ads on forums with incorrect subjects.
Now that you realize your life is shit, please leave us the fuck alone.
Thank you, and don't forget to wash the shit out of your hair.
