SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?'
the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the
departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her
hand for the ticket and he
opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said,
'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store but she couldn't find one
big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the
kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for
you all day,' the officer said. The kid replied,
Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing,
he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and
noticed a sign that read: LowBridge Ahead.
Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him
and his truck gets wedged under it.
Cars are backed up for mi les.. Finally a police car
comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his
hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this
bridge and I ran out of gas.'
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2010
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for
you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear
attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death
in your immediate family, but that's it,
no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in
the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering...
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly
at the student , shook her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'
EXTRA
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says
to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
Funeral services are private
It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?'
the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the
departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her
hand for the ticket and he
opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said,
'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store but she couldn't find one
big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the
kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for
you all day,' the officer said. The kid replied,
Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing,
he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and
noticed a sign that read: LowBridge Ahead.
Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him
and his truck gets wedged under it.
Cars are backed up for mi les.. Finally a police car
comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his
hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this
bridge and I ran out of gas.'
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2010
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for
you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear
attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death
in your immediate family, but that's it,
no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in
the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering...
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly
at the student , shook her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'
EXTRA
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says
to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
Funeral services are private
