One of my college application essays

DM Blazer · Oct 15, 2009

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Robert F. Kennedy once said, “Ultimately, America’s answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired.” With many years of research and visitations to Rutgers University, I envisioned Rutgers University as a representation of the “American Melting Pot.” As a Bengali American, life has been a struggle learning the Bengali and American culture. Once I stepped onto the Rutgers Busch campus I felt a relief as the diversity hit me in the face. I noticed the Rutgers diversity was beneficial to me and my culture. Diversity, whether it is in culture, education, or experience; is a valuable teacher that I know will prove beneficial to my education.
As a Bengali American, I will propose ample diversity and culture to Rutgers University. Society is made up of many different recipes including diversity. As I go through my years as a Bengali American, I received many questions about what my country, Bangladesh’s culture and where it is located. As I answered many questions numerous times, I realized I was teaching a lesson about my own culture. I can serve as a primary source of culture and history, as I come from an ethnic group that is not as well known as others in today's society. The community of people within Rutgers University is so diverse that it turns into a learning experience within itself. Living in a diverse city of New Jersey I’ve been influenced in many ways by the various cultures in this diverse city of Paterson.
Student leaders are a vibrant source of Rutgers University; you can never have enough of them. Throughout my high school years I have been in numerous clubs that involved stepping up to the plate. Many activities in student council required me to step up; I led the way in the Fun Run for student which helped benefit children diabetes. Not only does student council require leaders it requires team players too. As a member of HOSA, E.R.A.S.E. (End Racism And Sexism Everywhere, S.L.I.C.E. ( Character Education), PCTI Varsity Bowling, and National Honor Society I have contributed to the many actions led by these amazing clubs. As a member of National Honor Society I led the way for many volunteer acts including Veteran’s day which recognizes the many veteran’s of America.
After informing you about how diverse and unique of a student I am, I truly feel that I am the “vibrant” individual you are in search for and I hope you feel the same way about me.Many people have many opinions about the “Half full, half empty” expression. I believe Rutgers University is Half Full with diversity and I hope I can help make it full. Therefore, I know that <st1

lace w:st="on">Rutgers</st1

lace> will benefit me just as much as I will contribute to it. To conclude, I hope I will be able to mix myself into the “Rutgers Melting Pot.”

DM Daniel PL · Oct 15, 2009

hmm interesting

DM Sandman · Oct 15, 2009

it was great, just a few thing:

dont say "To conclude"

i think its supposed to be "children's diabetes"

and in ur last paragraph try to begin it a different way... dont make it sound like u r informing them

iKryLonN · Oct 15, 2009

u forgot to mention your in DM

DM KNIGHTParikh · Oct 15, 2009

DM iRaNDoMv3 said:
u forgot to mention your in DM

say this and you're garunteed to get in.

DM HaZ · Oct 15, 2009

just tell em about them ru hungry fat sandwiches!

DM Blazer · Oct 15, 2009

DM HaZ said:
just tell em about them ru hungry fat sandwiches!

them shits is beast!

DM HaZ · Oct 15, 2009

hah i read bout em in wnj! order a fat bitch or a fat dyke but they were banned apparetnyl

DM Michigan · Oct 15, 2009

Try to suck the universitys dick less when writting ok bye

DM Blazer · Oct 15, 2009

DM Feagle Beagle said:
Try to suck the universitys dick less when writting ok bye

lol ur retarded

MajorTom · Oct 15, 2009

Pretty good, although I have to agree with not adding in "to conclude". It seems neat, and it actually has punctuation and correct spelling, unlike what I see on this site most of the time (XP). That's a pretty good amount of clubs and activities, very nice. Good luck on getting in!

DM Senshi · Oct 16, 2009

student council

oh yeah lmao

DM PH · Oct 16, 2009

tell them your from Bmore and its automatic

DM CptReilly · Oct 16, 2009

LMAO PH!

I like the whole diversity angle you are going with, that is like crack to admissions ppl, they love that stuff. I refused to indicate my race on my college app b/c im so white I actually bring down the diversity ratios.

As long as we are nitpicking, lose the apostrophe in "veteran's of America" and "hit me in the face" is fine but it just kinda jumped out at me while reading and I was like woah! I might go with something a little more subtle like "Once I stepped onto the Rutgers Busch campus, I was fortunate to experience the diverse culture firsthand; I felt incredibly relieved because I had finally found my ideal University environment."

DM ToRNaDo412 · Oct 16, 2009

didnt really get a chance to read it, but i really recommend the 5 paragraph essays for this. also i would give this to an english teacher to go over it and give suggestions. im doing mine these weekend and sending all my apps in by the end of next week =]

=0 ur applying to rutgers? snipa ur gonna have a DM bud there! XD

DM Michigan · Oct 16, 2009

Apply to a real schhol in nj like princton. If you don't get in it means your retarded.

Velatorix · Oct 16, 2009

DM Feagle Beagle said:
Apply to a real schhol in nj like princton. If you don't get in it means your retarded.

I think you just pwned yourself.

DM ToRNaDo412 · Oct 16, 2009

....or u just don't qualify for an ivy league school.

DM Blazer · Oct 16, 2009

DM Feagle Beagle said:
Apply to a real schhol in nj like princton. If you don't get in it means your retarded.

does michigan have IVY league schools?

DM Michigan · Oct 16, 2009

DM Blazer said:
does michigan have IVY league schools?

yea the university of michigan (google public ivies)

One of my college application essays

DM Blazer

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DM Daniel PL

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iKryLonN

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KAMIKAZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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DM HaZ

Prestige 7

DM Michigan

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MajorTom

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DM Senshi

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DM PH

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DM CptReilly

He's fizzy, he's ginger

DM ToRNaDo412

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DM Michigan

Velatorix

DM ToRNaDo412

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DM Blazer

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