LMAO at #2
These are some Craigslist ads that have been floating around out there that I saw in an article.
1. Easter Eggs
"I need someone to hide easter eggs in my apt when i am not there ! They are small and filled with candy! I would like to find them myself on sunday! I am willing to pay! Serious inquiries only!"
2. Cockroaches
I found four cockroaches in a box of Triscuit a few months back, I hate to have to get rid of them but I'm moving to a smaller place and won't really have the room for them any more. All four of them (Mingus, Dinky, Cleopatra, and Prickly Pete) are house trained and need nothing more than some rotting garbage and an occasional scratch behind the antennae. Rehoming fee of $15 each or $50 for all four, as I would like to see them all stay together.
3. Noodle Bath
"I will pay you $1 to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit. I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this. I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure. DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner."
4. Drunk Clown
"We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a sh*t load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn't even need to socialize with anyone, just drink."
5. Yam Lady
"I was in line at Safeway today and you were a few checkstands over screaming for someone to help you find candied yams. I don't even know what the hell they are, but I was definitely turned on. You: 50's, or 60's, crazy as sh*t and apparently really likes yams. You settled on fresh ones when you realized the store didn't carry them. I wanted to go pretend to look at onions and stare at you while you picked out a choice yam, but I was too busy. Maybe we can get together some time and candify them, I'll bring the sugar."
6. Delicious Pony
"My kid is having a birthday coming up soon, and there'll be a lot of children around, so I figured I'd better get a pony. If you do have a pony you could sell, please contact me, and then immediately start putting barbeque sauce in it's bedding or add some Lawry's to it's salt lick - I like to marinade it early and long, so that the flavor is at it's peak by the time I take possession."
7. Original Plato
"1st edition of The Republic signed by its author. There is of course a reasonable amount of wear and tear, (light highlighting and underlining, dog-eared pages, back cover missing, etc.), but it is in overall good condition considering its age."
8. Tree House
As summer is approaching that means the weather outside is getting nicer, which means I have an extra room for rent. Do you like the outdoors, wood paneling, porta-poties? Then I have the perfect room for you. I just cleaned and swept out the tree house in my backyard. It is level to the second story of my house on a very sturdy tree. It has a plastic door, solid roof, and a durable rope ladder. It also ahs a pully system so you can pull up items that you don't feel comfortable carrying on the rope ladder. THe tree house has a bedroom (comes furnished with a beanbag). As for the kitchen, you may want to eat out. You can use the separate entrance to my backyard where it is located. This DOES NOT mean you have free access to my backyard though. What you are renting is the room at this is it. It is okay to use the backyard but keep it mind that first and foremost, it is mine.
Please, applicants under 160lbs only please. It is a sturdy building but lets not take any chances.
9. Bathroom Rental
"I am a female in my mid 60's and I am looking for a room mate. Times are tight and I need some extra money. I am willing to rent out my bathroom in my 1 bedroom east village home. My bathroom is large. You can easily put a twin air mattress in there. I only ask that when I need to use the bathroom, you or your air mattress are not in it. I do ask that when you are in the apartment, you confine yourself to the bathroom. I do not feel comfortable with a stranger walking around my living room. This might change as I get to know you better."
10. Duck Mask
"Full head rubber mask, old, has discoloration on white feather part from age, storage. Hey I got it on my big head, so it works that way."
These are some Craigslist ads that have been floating around out there that I saw in an article.
1. Easter Eggs
"I need someone to hide easter eggs in my apt when i am not there ! They are small and filled with candy! I would like to find them myself on sunday! I am willing to pay! Serious inquiries only!"
2. Cockroaches
I found four cockroaches in a box of Triscuit a few months back, I hate to have to get rid of them but I'm moving to a smaller place and won't really have the room for them any more. All four of them (Mingus, Dinky, Cleopatra, and Prickly Pete) are house trained and need nothing more than some rotting garbage and an occasional scratch behind the antennae. Rehoming fee of $15 each or $50 for all four, as I would like to see them all stay together.
3. Noodle Bath
"I will pay you $1 to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit. I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this. I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure. DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner."
4. Drunk Clown
"We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a sh*t load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn't even need to socialize with anyone, just drink."
5. Yam Lady
"I was in line at Safeway today and you were a few checkstands over screaming for someone to help you find candied yams. I don't even know what the hell they are, but I was definitely turned on. You: 50's, or 60's, crazy as sh*t and apparently really likes yams. You settled on fresh ones when you realized the store didn't carry them. I wanted to go pretend to look at onions and stare at you while you picked out a choice yam, but I was too busy. Maybe we can get together some time and candify them, I'll bring the sugar."
6. Delicious Pony
"My kid is having a birthday coming up soon, and there'll be a lot of children around, so I figured I'd better get a pony. If you do have a pony you could sell, please contact me, and then immediately start putting barbeque sauce in it's bedding or add some Lawry's to it's salt lick - I like to marinade it early and long, so that the flavor is at it's peak by the time I take possession."
7. Original Plato
"1st edition of The Republic signed by its author. There is of course a reasonable amount of wear and tear, (light highlighting and underlining, dog-eared pages, back cover missing, etc.), but it is in overall good condition considering its age."
8. Tree House
As summer is approaching that means the weather outside is getting nicer, which means I have an extra room for rent. Do you like the outdoors, wood paneling, porta-poties? Then I have the perfect room for you. I just cleaned and swept out the tree house in my backyard. It is level to the second story of my house on a very sturdy tree. It has a plastic door, solid roof, and a durable rope ladder. It also ahs a pully system so you can pull up items that you don't feel comfortable carrying on the rope ladder. THe tree house has a bedroom (comes furnished with a beanbag). As for the kitchen, you may want to eat out. You can use the separate entrance to my backyard where it is located. This DOES NOT mean you have free access to my backyard though. What you are renting is the room at this is it. It is okay to use the backyard but keep it mind that first and foremost, it is mine.
Please, applicants under 160lbs only please. It is a sturdy building but lets not take any chances.
9. Bathroom Rental
"I am a female in my mid 60's and I am looking for a room mate. Times are tight and I need some extra money. I am willing to rent out my bathroom in my 1 bedroom east village home. My bathroom is large. You can easily put a twin air mattress in there. I only ask that when I need to use the bathroom, you or your air mattress are not in it. I do ask that when you are in the apartment, you confine yourself to the bathroom. I do not feel comfortable with a stranger walking around my living room. This might change as I get to know you better."
10. Duck Mask
"Full head rubber mask, old, has discoloration on white feather part from age, storage. Hey I got it on my big head, so it works that way."
