Funny Joke.

[DM Viktomize]

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "we are very happy that you have passed our little test... we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car..






What do you think? I thought that this is one of the better jokes that I have heard.

 

[DM Andy Rosas ♛]

I saw this on a joke app for android. Was and is hilarious

 

[DM ToRNaDo412]

LOL i love that.

and i thought the post was just gonna say "women's rights." ahaha

 

[DM Poisoned]

LMFAO epic.

 

[DM DeadWithImpact]

LMAO thats funny..

 

[DM Hunt3r]

http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Adult-Jokes/Temptation.html
Lol found it.

 

[DM Hunt3r]

Lol found this one while I was at it:

Doing It In The Dark Claire was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they always have sex in the dark.

Hoping to rid him of his inhibitions, during a passionate evening she flipped on her reading lamp and was shocked to find a cucumber in his hand.

"Is this what you have been using on me for the past 8 years?" she exclaimed.

"Honey, let me explain…." he pleaded.

"You sneaky swine!" she screamed. "You impotent Son of a Bitch!"

"Speaking of sneaky!" he interjected,
"Perhaps you'd care to explain our two children!!"

 

[DM Undead_CORPSE69]

ight guys heres me ima joke ruiner



what do u call a guy with his head in his ass



























HEADASS

 

[DM Hunt3r]

Reminds me of Hancock.

 

[DM ViSiioNaRY]

lmao hahaha

 

[DM Tom]

This happened to yoy Tyler? XD
fkn funny

 

[DM CuBaN]

This happened to yoy Tyler? XD
fkn funny

no it didn't happen to him he just saw it on the internet bro

 

[DM Poisoned]

It was sarcasm Javi -,- ^^^^

 

[DM Tom]

no it didn't happen to him he just saw it on the internet bro

oh haha my faultboo hoo

 

[DM FlyMEXboy]

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday.

 

[DM FlyMEXboy]

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home.

They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny.

With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her "Darling, would you give me a blow job?"

Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"

Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

Him: "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"

Her: "No way. It's just too risky!"

Him (horny as hell): "Oh please, please, I love you so much!"

Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"

Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?"

Her: "No, no. I just can't"

Him: "I beg you... "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says:

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom.."

 

[DM FlyMEXboy]

Two guys in a bar are discussing "positions" so one tells the other, "Well my favorite is the rodeo!"

and the other says, "What's the rodeo?"

"well, first you get your wife down and start to do her doggy style, then when you're halfway done, you bend over and whisper in her ear, 'you know, this is your sister's favorite position too' and then try to hold on for 8 seconds!"

 

[DM RiCo ♛]

Lol i had heard Viks joke and the blowjob one before but the others had me laughing, lmao@ the rodeo.

 

[DM Sandman]

LMFAO!! oh man all these are halerious xD

 

[DM ToRNaDo412]

lol this is starting to remind me of noctis' joke thread